Thankfulness (Days 1-5)

Every year, in November, people all over Facebook do a daily "I'm thankful for . . . " status. I've never participated. Probably due to being depressed, I've stayed away from it on purpose. "What if I get a few days into it and can't think of anything else?" "What if I don't have 30 things to be thankful for?"

I know, I know. Ridiculous. I can see that now. Now that I'm taking my meds, I think like a normal person. Now, I know I have TONS to be thankful for. 30 days isn't enough to list all of the ways I have been blessed.

So, this year I started on November 1 . . . and made it 2 days! I have been too busy with the 5 little people in my care to sit down and write it down each day. Who has time for an in depth post on Facebook with 5 children ages 8 months - 4 years running through the house like wild maniacs???? Not this girl! (Plus I spent the day yesterday rearranging and cleaning out closets! That might have had something to do with lack of time.) Besides that, there just isn't enough space on Facebook to go into detail about why I'm thankful. I like words. :-)

With that said, I decided to share it all here. This first post is a catch up of days 1-8. Here goes.

November 1/Day 1: I am so very thankful for my mom and my mother-in-law. I have been blessed with two women who love God more than anything this world has to offer. They are both a godly example of what a mother and wife should be. I have two sets of footprints to follow. I have two women I can call at any hour of the day or night to get advice. They are both kind and gentle, sweet and giving. They love their grandbabies to pieces and are extremely helpful with them. They never complain about how many children I have and both love the fact that I would be perfectly content with having more! I have been greatly blessed! Happy birthday Momma! I can't wait to see you tomorrow Jenny!

November 2/Day 2: I am very thankful for the nieces and nephews God has given me. I don't live close enough to be well-known by them or to know them well, but I love them with everything in me. Dylan, Calum, Granger, Adilynn, Christopher Michael, Solomon, Abigail, Carrick, Kata, 2 on the way, 5 in heaven - I'm so very grateful God has placed you in my family and allowed me to be your aunt! Dylan, you may not have been born into this family, but you're no less special than the others. I pray you all grow into godly men and women and that you learn to "love the LORD your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength". You are each special and unique and have been created EXACTLY the way God intended. Don't ever forget that, and don't let anyone tell you any different. You may not be perfect - we were all born with a sin nature - but you were perfectly created by a perfect God. He knew what He was doing when He created each of you as the precious person you are. I can't wait to see you guys at Christmas! Happy birthday Dylan!!! I love you all more than you know!

November 3/Day 3: I have been blessed enough to have 3 fathers, and I am very thankful for each one of them and the role they play/have played in my life. First and foremost, my biological father. He was a godly man and a wonderful example of what a husband should be. He was my father, teacher, principal, and pastor. He filled every leadership role in my life. He was worthy of being followed. The only selfish moment of his entire life (at least, the 20 years I was a part of it!) was the one that ended his life. Other than that, he lived his life according to the Scripture. I am so thankful for the years God allowed me to call him Daddy. I am also thankful for my stepfather. Though I was grown when he married my mother, he has stepped in and taken ownership of his role in our family. While my mom and siblings and I all remember my dad vividly, our spouses and children never met him. Tim is the only one they've known in this role. He has been a great father-in-law, an amazing grandfather, and an awesome substitute father. I'm not glad Daddy passed away, but I'm glad Tim has been there to help pick up the pieces and to take over the roles he left behind. Last, I'm thankful for my father-in-law. He is always looking out for our best interest. He loves to teach new things and provide information for us. He is helpful and kind and caring. He is loving and gentle. He loves his grandchildren and always has room for them on his lap - even while watching the Cowboys! Thank you, Shawn, for helping Chase fix our van today!!!

November 4/Day 4: Happy 3rd birthday to my favorite Jennifer Bryce. Though you have the ability to drive me crazy at times - most times!! - with constantly getting into things you shouldn't (stickers, taking a bath in the kitchen sink, board games, my makeup, need I list more???), I love you more than you could ever know. You may not have been my first baby, but you changed my life - for the better - when you were born. Our family would not be the same without you. I thank God for you everyday. I hope and pray you have the greatest birthday and enjoy your "blue birthday" (cake)!!!!

November 5/Day 5: My precious Elizabeth Ann. You made me a mother. If you had never come along . . . well, I don't want to imagine how my life would be different now. It would be quieter, for sure, and I would be sleeping through the night(!), but there wouldn't be near as much joy or excitement or wonder in my days. Your "why?" can make me crazy and your attitude is enough to drive me insane(!!!), BUT I still wouldn't trade my life with you for all of the quiet and sleep in the world. You have been a HUGE help to me in recent days as I try to juggle taking care of Samantha, Lilly, and CJ. I couldn't do it without you sweetie! And of course, your pickiness at the dinner table always leaves us with plenty of leftovers for dinner the next night - though I'm not sure how your tummy feels about that! I love you baby girl, and I'm very thankful to God for giving you to us!

Because my wild hooligans have infiltrated my living room instead of destroying their room upstairs (aka playing) like they are supposed to be doing, I'll have to end this post here and finish catching up tomorrow!!!

1 Thessalonians 5:18 "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."

Stay Away!

The House - The Explanation

This dream had been so vivid that when I woke up I felt as if I had just experienced it in real life. I was shaken to the very core of my being.

I have bad dreams on a regular basis. I have since I was a kid. Almost every night, bad dreams enter my peaceful sleep and interrupt my night.

This dream was different than others I'd ever had. I knew there was an explanation behind it. I began to pray and ask God what the meaning was behind this dream; what was I supposed to learn from it. Before a few words of my prayer escaped from my lips, the explanation became clear. God showed me the meaning before I even finished praying. It was then that I knew that what I had experienced through my dream, I had also experienced in real life.

So here is the explanation:

In our lives, there is a constant spiritual battle going on for our souls. If we are rooted in God, we will win the ultimate battle. We will be with Him for all of eternity.

However, there is a daily battle going on as well. Satan sends all kinds of things our way to tempt us and try us so that we will give in to the pressures of the world and follow him instead of God.

Life is no game. We are in a battle against demons and Satan even as we speak. Every decision we make either gives Satan a foothold in our life and gives him some power over us or it keeps the power from him and leaves God in control.

In this dream:
1.) The House was my life.
2.) The Creatures were demons.
3.) The Stranger was the leader of the demons, Satan.
4.) The Battles represented the daily battles against the evil powers of this world.

When this dream took place, years ago before I was even married, it changed my life. It changed the way I see my day-to-day actions. It changed my view of everything. Of course, I got married and had children and "the cares of this world" crept in.

Recently, God brought this dream back to my mind. It has, again, changed me. I picture myself going about my day with a spiritual battle going on all around me, each side fighting for my decisions, fighting for me.

I don't know if this all makes sense. There might be a better way to say it. I pray that, in spite of my lack of being able to explain it all eloquently, you will understand what I'm trying to say. Our lives are not a game. There is a spiritual battle going on for our souls and our choices every second of the day.

The House - The Second Battle

The first battle was over. I had defeated those creatures. I was the only one left standing. I knew another battle was coming. I knew the leader of those creatures would come to defend his followers. I knew I would have to face him. What I didn't realize was just how quickly that second battle would arrive.

After the battle, I sat down on the couch to catch my breath and try to calm my nerves. As I sat there, suddenly The Stranger was back. He just appeared on the couch next to me. It didn't shock me that he would be there. It was almost as though I was waiting for him. He seemed to appear when I was most vulnerable, when I needed someone most. I was almost excited to see him. I had been looking forward to him coming back so I could get to know him better.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concern filling his kind and compassionate voice.

"Just a little fatigued," I responded. "I just went through the hardest battle I've ever experienced."

He began asking questions about the battle and pacing through the house. I stayed on the couch, my head leaned back, my eyes closed while I answered his questions. As we talked his voice became deeper and more gravelly with every word he spoke. At first it was so subtle I almost missed it. I was just enjoying the conversation. The more we talked, the more obvious the changes in his voice became.

Suddenly, my eyes popped open, my head lifted off the back of the couch, and I looked behind me just in time to see him taking some of my things. Just as the creatures had done, he was putting things in his pockets and in his shirt.

Disappointment filled my heart and soul as I realized this handsome man was the leader of those creatures. He didn't tell me; I just knew it. Already exhausted from the previous battle, I was nearing the end of my limit. I knew though that I HAD to win this battle against him. I knew if I didn't muster up every last ounce of energy left in me and beat him at this game, I would regret it for the rest of my life. I would end up serving him until my dying day. This was no game.

I jumped up off the couch and pursued him with everything I had in me. I managed to get my things from him. As I did, his hand reached out and grabbed something else. We went round and round this way for several hours. Just when I thought I couldn't go on anymore and would have to give up, he seemed to realize he was no match for me. He relented. He surrendered. He gave up. He left.

And I woke up.

The House - The First Battle

After the stranger left, I was, again, alone in the house. Though mysterious things kept happening, I was not scared. I wasn't even questioning these things. I was simply accepting them as they came. They all seemed quite normal at the time.

Suddenly, I was surrounded by my friends again. I never did learn where they went. I never learned how they left or how they returned. They simply weren't there and then were again. There was no need for discussion. It was just accepted.

As friends often do, we decided to go out. Again, I have no idea where we went or how we got there. I do know that when we returned it was night again . . . and we had "company".

There were no boats in the water, but before we entered the house, we knew they were there. We knew they were waiting for us. We knew that a battle awaited us. We entered anyway.

There they were. The creatures had returned. This time they had dared to enter the house. I don't think they expected us to return while they were there. They seemed genuinely scared at first. They clearly had not been expecting a battle on this night. They recovered quickly though and battle ensued.

This battle was not a typical battle. There were no weapons involved. There were no injuries. There were no deaths. I don't really know how to explain it except like this:

As we walked in, the creatures were taking things of ours - pillows, jackets, blankets, etc. They were hiding them in their pockets or in their shirts. Every time they grabbed onto something that belonged to us, we lost any power. They had a hold over us. We had to wrestle the item away from them. Once we had our item back, they lost their power. It became a battle to see who could hold out the longest. One by one, they realized they were not going to win this battle, and they slowly made their way from the house.

From the description above this does not seem like a very intense battle. Truthfully, I cannot put into words just how difficult this battle truly was. It only took a matter of minutes to describe this event, but it actually lasted for hours. There are no words to describe the anguish and sweat and tears that were poured out during this battle. It was a battle unlike any I've seen or experienced before or since.

When the battle was over, when every creature had returned to the place from where it had come, I looked around me. I was alone again. My friends were all gone. I don't know if they won this battle and went "home" or if they lost and went with the creatures. All I know is that there was no one else in the house with me. For long . . .

The House - The Stranger

When I woke up the next morning, I was alone in the house. I was not scared though. I had a peace about me. As I walked through the house with the sunlight streaming in, yawing and stretching, I again surveyed my surroundings. The house was quite comfortable. I had slept well the night before. I awoke feeling refreshed and ready for whatever the day held. That's a good thing too because the events of the day suddenly unfolded before my eyes.

I was standing at the open wall, looking at the bright blue sky, when I heard a male voice from the kitchen. I'll never know how he got there or when - he wasn't there when I first woke up - but there he was. 

"Are you hungry?" he asked

"I could eat. Who are you?"

He avoided my question completely as he passed me some breakfast. It didn't seem odd at the time. I just accepted his silence. While I sat there eating, I surveyed him. He was actually quite attractive.  He was tall, very muscular, and well built. He had a strong jaw and was clean shaven. He had big, dark, piercing eyes and dark hair, perfectly in place. I felt myself drawn to him. It was a stronger pull than any I had ever known . . . almost.

Suddenly, he was gone. He left just as quickly and mysteriously as he had come. I was a little disappointed. I wanted to get to know him. Little did I know that I would have another chance.

The House - The First Night

Though the house was abandoned, that fact was not obvious from the furnishings. The kitchen was fully stocked. The lights were on and the appliances were functional. The kitchen opened directly into the only other room in the house. The furniture in the living room was in impeccable condition. There were two throw pillows on the couch and one on the arm chair. The overhead light was off, but the lamp on the side table was turned on, providing dim lighting to the room. The lack of abandonment, however, ended there.

The house was fully enclosed on three sides. The fourth side was almost completely open. It looked as if a storm had come through and torn off that one wall. Pieces of insulation hung in various places along the top and edges. There were a couple of boards running the entire length of the wall as if to provide a barrier so one wouldn't fall out of the house. Just outside that wall was a porch that also ran the entire length. It wasn't technically a porch. There were only a few loose, rickety boards attached to the side of the house. There were no stairs leading down to the ground below. In fact, there was no "ground below". The house was completely surrounded by water. It was as if this house was its own private island.

Truth be told, I'm not sure how we came to be at this house. We never questioned how we got there or who owned the house. Maybe one of us did. Maybe all of us did. I don't know. We were just there.

The beginnings of this story are a little blurry to me. It has been so long since it took place. If I'm remembering right, we were in hiding, but I know not from whom or why. I don't remember how many of us there were, for in the end, it was only me left. I know we were all good friends. I think there were 6 or 7 of us. I don't know if we were all girls or if there were some guys in the mix. I cannot tell you what happened to any of them through the course of this story. This story is my battle. They were engaged in battles of their own. I do not know if they won their battles or lost them. My own journey was that intense. All I know is that I was not alone that first night.

Anyway, after seeing all there was to see about the house, we walked to the open wall. We stood there staring out at the peaceful dark sky, the open water stretched out before us. The calm was suddenly interrupted by boats. There were only 3 or 4 of them, but they were circling the house. They were filled with ugly, angry, beastly creatures. The creatures' brown skin was leathery and wrinkled. They reminded me of the Orcs from the Lord of the Rings movies. (It was only years later, when I saw these movies for the first time, that I was able to make that connection.) They were unified in their purpose but clearly, there was no single leader. It was obvious they had been sent. They were doing their job well in spite of that. They were yelling and laughing at us and mocking us. They didn't reach out to us though. They didn't try to get out of the boats to get to us. It was as if their mission was to let us know we had been found and to scare us.

Once they felt their mission complete, they left as quickly as they had come. We all went away from the open wall and went to sleep for the night.