Balance

I've been struggling the past few days with abandoning Martha and embracing Mary. How does a person just quit being who they have been for so long? As I've gone about my day thinking and praying over this, I've realized that it is just as wrong to be only Mary as it is to be only Martha. Didn't God give me a wonderful husband and 2 adorable daughters to love and care for? Didn't He give me 2 bathrooms with toilets and showers that need to be cleaned? Didn't He give me 2 bedrooms with sheets that need to be washed? Didn't He give me a kitchen to cook meals? Didn't He give me a living room with carpet to be vacuumed and a dining room with a table to be wiped? Didn't He give us the clothes we wear that need to be washed, dried, folded, and put away? How then could I justify sitting and studying the Word 24/7? I can't. I cannot be only Mary.

If it is wrong to be only Mary or only Martha, the struggle then becomes how to balance the two. Again, I struggled. Where do I learn how to be balanced? When I took this question to God would you believe that He didn't laugh in my face at the ridiculousness of it? He simply pointed me to His Word. Duh!!!

He led me to Proverbs 31:10-31. I know this is a very studied passage of Scripture and that there are probably many books written on the subject. But He did not lead to me to yet another study guide. He led me to the Scriptures themselves. He showed me that this is what His Word has to say about the ideal woman. I began to realize that if she is the ideal woman, she must be the perfect balance of Mary and Martha. How I long to be like her!

And so begins my study of Proverbs 31. A verse-by-verse look at what God Himself desires me to be.

Striving to be Mary

I am Martha. There. I said it. I struggle with making myself sit down and read my Bible. There is always something that needs to be done, someone that needs something. I can't relax until everything is in its place. The bed has to be made. The bathroom has to be straightened. My shower has to be taken and my hair and makeup done. By then the babies are awake and need breakfast. Then it has to be cleaned up. The washing machine needs to be started. Diapers have to be changed. The phone is ringing. The neighbor comes by to chat. Then it's naptime for the girls. The clothes have to be put in the dryer. My husband comes home for lunch. I spend time with him for the few short minutes I have him home. Once he leaves, the laundry has to be folded and put away. The girls wake up and need lunch. Then that has to be cleaned up. The girls need baths and diaper changes and beds have to be made. Of course, after bathtime there is another complete load that needs to be washed, dried, folded, and put away. The phone is still ringing. Fights are broken up. The house is straightened up for the hundredth time. The youngest goes down for a second nap. And it's time to cook dinner. Husband comes home from work and it's time to eat and clean up. Then pajamas, blankies, stuffed animals, water cups, and pacifiers have to be found. The girl's Bible story is read, and they go to bed. I spend a few minutes alone with my husband, talking over the events of the day, and and we drop into bed exhausted. Sadly, nowhere in there did I make the time to study the Bible, to spend time with my Creator and Savior, with my Rock and my Refuge. Oh what I would give to be Mary. How I would LOVE to be able to drop everything and sit absorbed in God and His Word 24/7.

I've never had a New Year's Resolution. This year though I decided that my goal for the year was to spend more time studying the Bible. Not just reading it but actually studying it. Finding out what Scriptures really mean. I enjoy studying and learning. I've just not had anyone making me do it. Well, this blog is my accountability partner! As God teaches me new things, I'm going to share them here. Not only will it help hold me accountable, but it is my prayer that you will be able to learn some truths from Him as well.