Thursday, February 9, 2012

Past, Present, Future (part 1) - Husband

Proverbs 31:12 - "She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."

Only 3 verses in and this chapter is already full of so much that I've never known before! On first reading this verse, the part that stands out is that she brings him good and not harm. defines good as "moral excellence; kindness" and harm as "physical injury or mental damage; moral injury; evil; wrong".

That doesn't seem so difficult. Be kind to him. Remain faithful to him. Look out for his best interest. Don't cause him physical, mental, or emotional pain. Basically, treat him as I would want him to treat me.

As I was shutting my Bible, a little phrase jumped out at me . . . "all the days of her life."

First off, I think it's important to note that it doesn't say "all the days of his life". In order to do that, a woman would have to know him from the day he is born. It would also mean that, as soon as he is deceased, she could stop.

Secondly, I think it's important to realize that it's too late for me to treat him this way "all the days" of my life. I'm already 27 years into my life. I cannot go back and undo the past. What's done is done. I can learn from it, but I cannot undo it.

There are 3 parts to this relationship that I have with my husband: 1.) before we knew each other; 2.) while we know each other (dating, engagement, marriage); 3.) after we are separated by death. I've already said that I cannot do anything about before we knew each other. I am currently in the process of number 2. For number 3, assuming God takes him first, I still have a responsibility to bring him good and not harm. How do I do that if he is no longer here? I think it has to do with honoring him. Don't share his faults with others. Don't talk bad about him. Respect his name. It's no one else's business what took place in your marriage! Dirty laundry doesn't need to be aired just because he is no longer living.

I was struggling with this though. I kept feeling that there was something deeper than this that God was trying to show me. Then it hit me! "All the days of her life." I'm in the process of raising 2 daughters and soon a 3rd will join them. It is my responsibility to raise them so that they bring their husbands good and not harm all the days of their lives. Oh, there's so much here! How do I do this? What exactly does this mean?

I don't have the answers. I'm going to spend the next couple of days in seeking God and having Him reveal to me how to do this. I'm a little overwhelmed. No, that's not true. I'm very overwhelmed. I have a HUGE task ahead of me that I didn't realize before I had children. But God has blessed me with them and I believe He will show me how to raise them to be this kind of woman!!!

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